Most of the day your life is wonderful. You are grateful for everything around you. You rarely compare yourself to others, you live your life the way you love it. You throw jokes to make other people laugh, you are passionate about whatever you do.
But when that one day comes around, one breakdown ruined it, despite you having a great day or whatever, you feel exactly the opposite of things that you’ve felt before. You’ve lost that passion, no more fire in your eyes. You became a different person when you are alone. You just want it to stop but you don’t know exactly how. You started to find affirmation from others, but when you got it from someone you barely know, you tend to forget it. You chose an individual to compliment you, to make you feel complete. You think you’ve reached out, but you didn’t get what you’re looking for, the anxiety’s rising. Your heart’s racing too fast your mind’s spiraling around; your head is a bad neighborhood. People will see you wasting away your life, fooling around, because of the mask you’ve put on every single day. In your mind, if you put down the mask, you are afraid that they won’t like who you are, they want the clown. You’ve acted so much you forgot who you are. You stare into that empty ceiling of your room every night, questioning when will this misery ends, it is nothing but agony.
If some of those match your condition, accept it but it is not who you are. Seek help, reach out. It is okay not to be okay.
